It happens tonight... and probably tomorrow.
[update]
...and the day after tomorrow and the day after that if need be.
I have half of the work completed, but there are serious problems with the second half. I'm going to try a couple of modifications, but I'm not holding my breath. Today's fortune cookie from lunch says: "A good beginning is half the task." What a wise cookie.
[further update]
I don't know if I'm going to graduate. I fully reduced the data of one of my drag runs and compared it with published data. While I can reproduce my data very well, it doesn't match the published data. The profile drag (read drag caused by air friction) looks acceptable, but the induced drag (read drag due to lift) is much too high, again in comparison to the published data. Perhaps not coincidentally, I'm measuring the lift to be much higher than what it should be.
Now the question at hand: Is what I'm measuring real? Can the small deviations and oscillations of the wing really cause the lift to be twice as much? And even if they are, can my thesis be based on unsteady (read time dependent) phenomenon that may be difficult for other academics to reproduce if not impossible for industry to apply? I'll present my case tomorrow. I hope it doesn't turn into the Nuremberg of my proverbial Battle of the Bulge.
[even further update]
The verdict: I was right, AND I have to fix it if I'm going to finish my thesis. I know exactly what I need to fix/address, but whether or not I can do it effectively is another question. I think I can, and I should know yea or nay in the next couple of days.
[el update ultimo (the last, but maybe the ultimate too) ]
It's been a couple of days, and the problems are addressed. I need to confirm that they're addressed, and then I take benchmark data to see how it compares to what's available in the "literature." I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. I feel...
May 20, 2007
May 7, 2007
Dude, that's like....
Even though I am a grad student, I've been fairly insulated from the... ambiance of a traditional college setting. This is a good thing. In the last year though, this insular bubble I've been living in has definitely shrunk. The historically quiet neighborhood has had an influx of younger students, and with them have come late night parties and a little more ruckus tone to the neighborhood.
But tonight, as I write my term paper for aeroelasticity, the porch drama groupies across the street are having a particularly productive night. Here is a sampling of the many tasty morsels served up. Each comment came about an hour apart. I'll add more if anything else rings golden.
"Man, just one molecule of that s***..."
"S*** happens, it happens."
"Heroin is just bad for you. I mean..."
"Dude, it is so hard being in a band."
[update]
"F*** you." [said by everyone greeting a new comer in sporadic unison]
"Pirates of the Caribbean is so f******* bad."
But tonight, as I write my term paper for aeroelasticity, the porch drama groupies across the street are having a particularly productive night. Here is a sampling of the many tasty morsels served up. Each comment came about an hour apart. I'll add more if anything else rings golden.
"Man, just one molecule of that s***..."
"S*** happens, it happens."
"Heroin is just bad for you. I mean..."
"Dude, it is so hard being in a band."
[update]
"F*** you." [said by everyone greeting a new comer in sporadic unison]
"Pirates of the Caribbean is so f******* bad."
May 3, 2007
Patience when none can be had.
The last week and some has been horrible. I haven't been able to work when I've needed to, and I haven't been able to do work on a term paper when I've had to. I'm somewhat better since I've effectively taken the last week off, but not remotely near to what I should be. I haven't fought like this since my sophomore year, four years ago before I got my pump. Given my current circumstances compounding the matter, I'd say this is the worst I've ever been. And as bad as I make this sound, I doubt there would have been any other circumstances for me to reflect as intensely as I have on virtually every aspect of my life. I know what I want to do, operating conditions that I perform best under, support apparati that are necessary for those operating conditions, and also conditions that I'm not willing to accept nor will I endure.
Working with my advisor is generally not rewarding, and that is by far the most challenging component of my entire experience at U of I. Had this not been the case, my thesis would have been finished by now, and the other projects I was working on would have been completed as well. I don't mean this as a cop-out of my responsibilities (I'm very well aware that I haven't followed through with some of the responsibilities given to me); rather, this is merely the reason driving my lack of steady progress. It drives to the very heart of what motivates me, and more importantly, who and why they motivate me. I rarely do anything for myself, so for me, the motivation for performing a task comes from interactions with the person I'm doing the task for. For the most part, this is a rewarding process, but when that interpersonal exchange isn't enlightened, substantive, meaningful, compassionate, instructive, or even mutual, I have some difficulty completing the task. Furthermore, the task becomes immensely more difficult when the exchange is clouded by distance, manipulation, innuendo, doublespeak, and half-truths. Far from environment that I need to perform well, my situation could not have been more discouraging, though I doubt few would reach the same conclusions examining it from an outside perspective. In addition to all of this, working alone has intensified the process of self-destruction I've fallen into.
So it is not unexpected that I am scrambling to finish my thesis in the next two weeks. My situation is not uncommon though. At least three of my advisor's recent grad students did not finish their thesis or dissertation, and by his own admission, they were very intelligent, capable individuals. I have no intention to be the next.
"The Patient" by Tool
A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
this paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I still may. And I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this...
If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. And I still may. And I still may.
I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Working with my advisor is generally not rewarding, and that is by far the most challenging component of my entire experience at U of I. Had this not been the case, my thesis would have been finished by now, and the other projects I was working on would have been completed as well. I don't mean this as a cop-out of my responsibilities (I'm very well aware that I haven't followed through with some of the responsibilities given to me); rather, this is merely the reason driving my lack of steady progress. It drives to the very heart of what motivates me, and more importantly, who and why they motivate me. I rarely do anything for myself, so for me, the motivation for performing a task comes from interactions with the person I'm doing the task for. For the most part, this is a rewarding process, but when that interpersonal exchange isn't enlightened, substantive, meaningful, compassionate, instructive, or even mutual, I have some difficulty completing the task. Furthermore, the task becomes immensely more difficult when the exchange is clouded by distance, manipulation, innuendo, doublespeak, and half-truths. Far from environment that I need to perform well, my situation could not have been more discouraging, though I doubt few would reach the same conclusions examining it from an outside perspective. In addition to all of this, working alone has intensified the process of self-destruction I've fallen into.
So it is not unexpected that I am scrambling to finish my thesis in the next two weeks. My situation is not uncommon though. At least three of my advisor's recent grad students did not finish their thesis or dissertation, and by his own admission, they were very intelligent, capable individuals. I have no intention to be the next.
"The Patient" by Tool
A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
this paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I'm gonna wait it out
If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
I still may. And I still may.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this...
If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. And I still may. And I still may.
I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
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